Live from Cairoston

Soon

Note: This had the potential to be my favorite act of poesis, but I never continued it. It was my first transition from haikus to something longer.
I wrote it while my students were taking an exam, in one sitting... the experience writing it is what sticks most, as well as the joy or reading it again and again.
Another note: this is incomplete and only lightly edited.
Edited 9/25/11

[Soon]

 

***       I           ***

 

I learned your language,

So that we may speak.

But you turned away.

 

So I turned my words,

Into songs, and roamed the lands,

Singing my sad tunes.

 

You treat me like dirt,

As if I do not exist,

I do … and I’m hurt.

 

But I do not mind,

Being earth for your two feet,

Sowing seeds of pain.

 

For Pain is the Pen,

By which the lessons of Life,

Engrave our hearts.

 

Years ago I wrote,

A letter sealed with a hope,

That you would respond.

 

And indeed you did,

With four words that brought me joy,

“Soon, I shall respond.”

 

And so I waited,

Anxiously for “soon” to come,

Wary and lonesome.

 

Time drew my hair long,

As I sat writing a song,

“May ‘soon’, cometh now.”

 

Come on now my girl,

Do not fall, and keep your sway,

And fake a faint smile.

 

Time rips me apart,

Tears me, then squeezes me flat,

You can make it stop.

 

For all I seek,

Is to shift my sight,

Off of my own Self.

 

But nothing around,

Has shape, form or even sound,

Except for thy Name.

 

So behold my eyes,

I want you … and I warn you.

So heed my words girl:

 

Run, run, run, and hide!

Close the gates and stay inside!

Fear the mad leper!

 

For our likeness,

Is that of a thirsty soul,

And a fresh cold well.

 

At your virgin breast

Stares a hungry hyena,

That will drink you dry!

 

Feel sorry for me,

And I will nourish myself,

With each tear you cry!

 

Have you seen the fool,

Who sailed to see the whirlpool?

Do not be like him.

 

So run, run, my dear,

Run far and stay far away.

Never think of me.

 

I accept my Fate,

To journey all of my life

And die at your Gate.

 

 

***       II         ***

 

She left me again,

When will she come back once more?

“Soon” they all concur.

 

Tell me, when is soon?

Is soon after one minute,

Or in an hour?

 

I drown in this night,

And say soon, there will be light.

To breathe life in me.

But when is this soon?

Will it be in the morning,

Or the afternoon?

 

Come soon! Take my hand!

Pull me from under the sand.

The rubbles of Time!

 

I suffocate here,

At the bottom of this cold,

Faceless hour-glass.

 

Each second taken,

From the life of a mortal,

Added to my own!

 

Time!!

 

Why do you kill me,

Yet keep me alive in Pain?

Where can I escape?

 

“Soon you will be dead.”

But when is Soon? No response.

What hollow answer!

 

Awake each cold night,

I question the melting moon,

Tell me, when is soon?

 

Still awake each night,

Whispering the saddest tune,

Begging this late soon.

 

Time!! You sadist!

 

Whenever I pay

Not only do you forget

You add to my debt!

 

***       III        ***

 

Ah! I see her peek,

From behind a book and laugh,

Before running off.

 

Young girl, stop fooling yourself!

Does she deny that she is,

Frantically running amuck,

Like Hagar, in the desert,

Trying to quench her babe’s thirst?

Does she deny that Abram

Left her in the wilderness

Of the Modern World,

With a crying heart?

 

She drank her own tears!

Trying to revive,

Her withering faith!

 

Young girl stop! Enough running!

Seven times East and then West

Seven years! Arabia-

America, are enough

Wherever you look, Mirage!

Whatever you try and touch

Crumbling castles of dry sand

Come to *me* my babe,

From *my eye* springs life!

 

But I am pouring,

On this heedless sand,

Careless and Wasteful.

 

Come follow Hagar’s footsteps

Run to me and cry, Zam Zam,

Embrace me with your two hands,

So that I may become “well”.

Stop my bleeding with your palms,

Then let us rest our heads,

Under shades of palm and date.

 

No need to run anymore,

Or if you must, run to me,

This world has left us

No place to hide, my young girl.

Except in each other’s arms.

 

Will she deny that she was,

brought up in the house of God,

Like Mary, in the Temple,

Before discovering that,

The Laws they taught her as True,

Can easily fall apart,

When her womb conceives a thought?

 

“How do I explain…”

She said, “this distance,

Between what should be

And what indeed is?

How could this be True?”

 

Will she deny when she spoke,

To her family and folk,

They shouted, “Is this a joke?”

Can she deny that she felt,

All alone amongst them all?

So she carried her newborn,

And escaped to the River.

Seeking a refuge?

Searching for some clues?

 

Search no more my girl

For the answer lies

Where it says here’s Truth.

 

Her newborn grew and tore down,

The Temple inherited,

From forefathers who once lived,

In a world they owned and ruled,

But her newborn did not know,

How to turn sand into brick,

And build the Temple once more.

 

But I know the secret path,

A path Straight, not circular,

But I cannot walk,

This long path without a pair,

So I pray, “May ‘soon’ come now.”

 

***       IV        ***

 

Ah! She has returned,

Come my dear and dance with me,

As I seed my thoughts.

 

Close your eyes young girl

For I want to share a dream

And take my hand too.

 

You think our worlds,

Are incommensurable?

Impossible pair?

 

I shall show you how

We both stand on the same plane

The plain plane of pain.

 

“What is Truth?” you ask.

‘Tis what you cannot deny.

Truth and Pain conspire!

 

Keep your eye-lids draped,

Let darkness illuminate,

The folly of Real!

 

Space and Time exist,

In senses and memories,

But they make no sense.

 

Trust me dreamy girl,

We can live in our dreams.

To escape Space-Time

 

Sit down little one

I teach you the only Truth

With a Persian tongue

Repeat with a ‘v’

“I *law* you.” Love is the Law!

and the Law is Love!

 

Ah! What is this light!

You must have smiled!

Then listen to this:

“What is good?” you ask

Good is what God conveys us.

God speaks through your heart.

 

Listen to your heart

Feel it in your Gut

‘Tis the word of God

Which shows you the Good.

 

But all this is in vain

For the life we live is not read

Until we die and read

 

For now, let us stop,

Reciting words of the dead,

And write our lives

 

Open your eyes my lady

Behold! A knife and Naive

With one thrust, put me to rest

Or carve your name on my chest

Entrusted with destiny:

Either ever-night,

Or Ennobled Knight.

 

You hold the key to my fate,

As I paintiently await,

Knocking on the doors of Time,

Plucking petals of my Life,

Humming an eternal hymn:

May “soon” tell me now,

Will “soon” ever come?

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Comments on: "Soon" (1)

  1. […] Truth and Pain conspire.    (from “Soon”) […]

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